the "epic speech"

ashley tran: this is why.. i try not to get close to people cause they'll go bye bye in a matter of seconds
michelle: ahh D:
ashley tran: haha. yeah. I'll always say it doesn't matter, but every person you've ever been friends with will always matter [no matter how much you want to deny it]
michelle: omgosh this is like an epic speech
ashley tran: lol. I don't actually know the definition of an epic speech.. but alright

I'm having one of those "eh" days. I'd do anything possible to hide from what I'm actually feeling when you see me in person.. But wow, there's so much that goes on in my head. My cousin was flipping through the radio stations on the way to school, and this one song played, it reminded me of this one person so much. He changed it so quickly though.. That's when I really started to think.. Things do change so quickly. When I did my presentation on Tuesday, I was talking about how this man lost a loved one.. Didn't appreciate them and now felt bad for not doing everything possible to tell them, to show them how much she cared. That day I learned how much I let people impact me. I put myself down.. Thinking it'd be easier to take being made fun of, but.. It really doesn't haha.
Way too much goes on in my head, its freaking crazy! My mom might not be coming home for another two months, and I really didn't appreciate her all that much while she was here, she took me to go get food when I was really hungry, but I thought on the more negative sides where she'd yell at me for who knows what. We tend not to think about these things, and right now I am.. So many things going on in my mind, no other way to express them, except to type it out. Which may make no sense to any of you, but it's alright. Your opinion shouldn't put a bad impact in me. Wow, that was odd.
I really need to stop saying I don't care, to stop putting myself down. Cause I do care, and if you don't expect much out of something, you won't get much out of them. I have no idea still if it's better to expect too much of someone.. Or too little. There's ways to fight for both sides, fights that will take years to figure out. I am going to change, I am going to reach my goals, my goals, are my promises to myself. We all need something to strive for, adds more of a meaning to our lives, and that's a sure thing we all need.
I feel so isolated right now, I'm in such a state.. That I can't even sing right now, I have no songs that will cheer me up, I don't know what's up with that, but I have to deal, things are going to get harder, and you gotta be tougher.. Just make sure you have the right people beside you as you're walking through that storm. We can all help each other.
Every friend matters.
-ashley tran.

Kellie O'Connor: "Friends are always friends no matter how far you have to travel back in time. If you have memories together, there is always a piece of your friendship inside your heart."
"It's sad when people you know become people you knew. When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours and how now, you can barely even look at them."

people at Walnut.

High school is crazy, and the people are even crazier!
Haha jkay, but yeah, some of them are really freaking tight, and others you just want to shoot them with rubber bands[: I can't believe how weird its been, the friends I made are hella freaking funny and awesome. Inside jokes are awesome, even though I forget them the next day.
Who the fuck pees on teachers cars?! Hahaha, he thinks he can sing, it's freaking hilarious, I will wait for the day he goes onto American Idol, and I will point and laugh and go "that idiot still thinks he can sing after THIS long".
Apparently, I seem like a naturally happy person, which in my world should sorta mean I'm happier at Walnut, even though the work stresses me out, and I have issues with biology, and the freaking work, and I have issues paying attention in class. Talking is bad for you :x but I'll do it anyways.
I haven't made that many new friends at Walnut, and I mainly talk to my old friends, lol. Me and Michelle are going to freaking make crafts this weekend x] cause uhhh.. I have no idea, we have nothing better to do cause we're that freaking awesome.
So I guess you can say I'm writing this instead of doing my homework, which I have a lot left to do, but I finished my math, so I just see this as taking a short break[; I miss Hollencrest still somedays man. I got reminded of the times we had last school year in PE, and wow.. It got me into a stage of thinking, those days were the best, and I didn't even take it all in.. I didn't appreciate it as much as I should've. Those people always made my day, and it was full of the best conversations of that year. I hope I don't forget those times, like "sweaters are for sweating in" hahaha. Dang man, those were the freaking days, so bomb. I want to go back one day, stand in the circle like we used to, and just talk, talk about anything that comes to mind, the most random shit in the world.
These people at Walnut are better, we talk during lunch, haha. Interesting conversations, it amuses me x] I bet you wish you were there [; haha, probably not. So Friday I have no idea what I'm going to do afterschool, if you go to Walnut, let's hang out! Cause I really don't want to wait so long after school by myself ._. that sounds pretty creepy. Now time to go, I want some soda, and I really need to start reading.
Goodbye, and good luck![:

High school?

Man, high school started last week, and I already feel like I've been there for a long time. :/ Everyone is asking me how it is.. But I'm not all that sure :x its fun, but at the same time, it's extremely frustrating. Drama starts way too soon, a week, and wow. So much changes, and I'm already different, and I'm still trying to change those bad habits. I don't even procrastinate anymore, my work just takes forever, but I should really stop the multi-tasking. So much to do, so little time. My classes are boring, some are fun, others are annoying.. I'm pretty sure I'm not doing all too well in any of them. I miss Hollencrest, I realized how easy it was there, and how much I miss some people. It's freaking INSANE. People there are crazy too man, like this guy who pees in lockers, and on teachers cars.. He scares me, and can't sing for crap[: In many ways you can say I'm different, and in other ways, I'm the same, you can change all you want, but you'll still be the same person. I'm a Walnut High School mustang!? People said it would be easy making friends, but I guess I'm too shy x] at least I made a couple, and I'm just getting used to the surroundings and such, I try to keep in touch with people, but times are just way too different.
Call me up man, let's hang outtt. Jkay, too much work. I like going to school, sorta.. Talking to friends is more fun now. There's some really chill people there[: but then there's some really annoying people that you just want to knock out. Man, well my mother has been gone for a month now, and she's coming back in two weeks, but she's only staying for a few days, or less, then going back. I've been getting used to things at home without her, I haven't really noticed that she's gone, besides my stomach always growling angrily at me. I'm always freaking hungry now, and super tired. I didn't join tennis, but then I think I wouldn't be able to handle tennis and school and everything else at the same time, considering what I have right now is too much, but I have to adjust.

S I N G I N G I S M Y A N T I D R U G.