the "epic speech"

ashley tran: this is why.. i try not to get close to people cause they'll go bye bye in a matter of seconds
michelle: ahh D:
ashley tran: haha. yeah. I'll always say it doesn't matter, but every person you've ever been friends with will always matter [no matter how much you want to deny it]
michelle: omgosh this is like an epic speech
ashley tran: lol. I don't actually know the definition of an epic speech.. but alright

I'm having one of those "eh" days. I'd do anything possible to hide from what I'm actually feeling when you see me in person.. But wow, there's so much that goes on in my head. My cousin was flipping through the radio stations on the way to school, and this one song played, it reminded me of this one person so much. He changed it so quickly though.. That's when I really started to think.. Things do change so quickly. When I did my presentation on Tuesday, I was talking about how this man lost a loved one.. Didn't appreciate them and now felt bad for not doing everything possible to tell them, to show them how much she cared. That day I learned how much I let people impact me. I put myself down.. Thinking it'd be easier to take being made fun of, but.. It really doesn't haha.
Way too much goes on in my head, its freaking crazy! My mom might not be coming home for another two months, and I really didn't appreciate her all that much while she was here, she took me to go get food when I was really hungry, but I thought on the more negative sides where she'd yell at me for who knows what. We tend not to think about these things, and right now I am.. So many things going on in my mind, no other way to express them, except to type it out. Which may make no sense to any of you, but it's alright. Your opinion shouldn't put a bad impact in me. Wow, that was odd.
I really need to stop saying I don't care, to stop putting myself down. Cause I do care, and if you don't expect much out of something, you won't get much out of them. I have no idea still if it's better to expect too much of someone.. Or too little. There's ways to fight for both sides, fights that will take years to figure out. I am going to change, I am going to reach my goals, my goals, are my promises to myself. We all need something to strive for, adds more of a meaning to our lives, and that's a sure thing we all need.
I feel so isolated right now, I'm in such a state.. That I can't even sing right now, I have no songs that will cheer me up, I don't know what's up with that, but I have to deal, things are going to get harder, and you gotta be tougher.. Just make sure you have the right people beside you as you're walking through that storm. We can all help each other.
Every friend matters.
-ashley tran.

Kellie O'Connor: "Friends are always friends no matter how far you have to travel back in time. If you have memories together, there is always a piece of your friendship inside your heart."
"It's sad when people you know become people you knew. When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours and how now, you can barely even look at them."