Today was great :]
I feel better.
Happy, smiling, all that good jazz :D
Richard Gonzales, I will miss you. The smiles you could always bring to people's faces, the laughter, and the joy.
You got me thinking Rj, I should live my life happily. Thank you so much. I pray for your family, and for your friends, and I know you've touched so many lives.
Love you. Miss you.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
About me.
Hi, I'm Ashley. I'm a freshman at Walnut. I'm a complicated person, and something's always bugging me. I know I act like a btch, but when I try to change it, nobody notices, so I just go back to where I started.
I want to go places in life, but don't we all? I'm a clean kid, no drugs, no alcohol, no smoking, none of that shiet has a place in my life. I live like a kid in college. I deal with things most teens don't have to deal with, but I'm living through it. I'm hella self-conscious, and being made fun of all day and everyday doesn't help it. Tell me to change how self-conscious I am, doesn't do SHIET, things are easier said than done.
I'm getting really tired and annoyed of how people are changing, but I also know that's who they are, and that's not something I can change. I leave a lot of important things unsaid, because every time I say what's on my mind, I get either no response, or one that hurts or just pisses me off. I blabber about nonsense a lot, so you might not want to get me started down that path. I know how to set my priorities, but I tend to put others before myself.
I want things to be different, I want me to be different. I want people to understand, I want to be confident. I want to be able to stand tall and proud. I want things, I want them to happen, I want but I can't have everything I want. But I can try.
Things about me contradict like heck. But yeah, this is just a tiny bit of who I am.
I want to go places in life, but don't we all? I'm a clean kid, no drugs, no alcohol, no smoking, none of that shiet has a place in my life. I live like a kid in college. I deal with things most teens don't have to deal with, but I'm living through it. I'm hella self-conscious, and being made fun of all day and everyday doesn't help it. Tell me to change how self-conscious I am, doesn't do SHIET, things are easier said than done.
I'm getting really tired and annoyed of how people are changing, but I also know that's who they are, and that's not something I can change. I leave a lot of important things unsaid, because every time I say what's on my mind, I get either no response, or one that hurts or just pisses me off. I blabber about nonsense a lot, so you might not want to get me started down that path. I know how to set my priorities, but I tend to put others before myself.
I want things to be different, I want me to be different. I want people to understand, I want to be confident. I want to be able to stand tall and proud. I want things, I want them to happen, I want but I can't have everything I want. But I can try.
Things about me contradict like heck. But yeah, this is just a tiny bit of who I am.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Is it worth it?
I don't even know ._.
I got up the guts to tell this guy something yesterday :/ and then he had no idea what to say. So I guess me and him are really both wasting our time liking each other. Cause nothing's going to happen. But I guess that's for the better? Trying to see the light in it (:
I don't know if what I'm doing is worth it. This going for more than just one case. English is bugging me so much, no joke. Computers is too. My teacher is so stupid, I have a feeling he's going to give me hell the rest of the year.
I hope I can keep up my GPA, or even make it BETTER. Gotta be more, determined, hard-working, focused, I have no idea, I just need to bring up my English, and maintain all my other grades, or it's going to be really sad news when the semester ends :/
Birthday countdown: 3 WEEKS. Dang, then I'm finally fifteen, time is flying!
The past two days of school weren't too bad, sorta.. Boring and long/short though. I guess daylight savings does change people.
OH, AND I KEEP HAVING REALLY WEIRD DREAMS :/ and I don't think I should've said anything last night, don't want things to be all awkward and crap, but but we shall see!
I got up the guts to tell this guy something yesterday :/ and then he had no idea what to say. So I guess me and him are really both wasting our time liking each other. Cause nothing's going to happen. But I guess that's for the better? Trying to see the light in it (:
I don't know if what I'm doing is worth it. This going for more than just one case. English is bugging me so much, no joke. Computers is too. My teacher is so stupid, I have a feeling he's going to give me hell the rest of the year.
I hope I can keep up my GPA, or even make it BETTER. Gotta be more, determined, hard-working, focused, I have no idea, I just need to bring up my English, and maintain all my other grades, or it's going to be really sad news when the semester ends :/
Birthday countdown: 3 WEEKS. Dang, then I'm finally fifteen, time is flying!
The past two days of school weren't too bad, sorta.. Boring and long/short though. I guess daylight savings does change people.
OH, AND I KEEP HAVING REALLY WEIRD DREAMS :/ and I don't think I should've said anything last night, don't want things to be all awkward and crap, but but we shall see!
Sunday, March 8, 2009
You make me wanna dance (:
Okay, so I've been pretty preoccupied with school :/ and I really need to bring up my English grade! D: But other than that, 5 A's :)
Schools been going well, somedays I still get frustrated with it. I am losing my social life because I never have a ride anywhere :/
I went to the Americana last night :D the pasta smelled like bacon, yum! Then I bought some stuff at H&M, and it's making me feel GUILTY. But at least I'm not a shop-a-holic :)
Some people really have problems understanding, but I guess you can't expect them to, but it's just.. You don't want to explain it to them, cause they'll think differently of you? I have no idea how to explain it D:
I have really bad issues sleeping, I'm always waking up in the middle of the night, or really really early, like 5am. Geez, stupid sleeping pattern ):
Schools been going well, somedays I still get frustrated with it. I am losing my social life because I never have a ride anywhere :/
I went to the Americana last night :D the pasta smelled like bacon, yum! Then I bought some stuff at H&M, and it's making me feel GUILTY. But at least I'm not a shop-a-holic :)
Some people really have problems understanding, but I guess you can't expect them to, but it's just.. You don't want to explain it to them, cause they'll think differently of you? I have no idea how to explain it D:
I have really bad issues sleeping, I'm always waking up in the middle of the night, or really really early, like 5am. Geez, stupid sleeping pattern ):
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