Last week of 8th grade.

AMAZING.

That boy whose words meant so much to me the last couple days (: makes me smile when I think about it.

Knotts with the whole 8th grade class, going on the Log Ride 293849234 times, and then the Big Foot Rapids. Funnel cake and Panda Express, yum.

The best friends going to my promotion, it meant the world to me. Hanging out at my house after promotion, going to Dennys. I wish I could relive it. Even though not the whole day was good, I want to relive it.

After promotion I looked through my yearbook, and I cried :/ But, we live on anyways, and I'm just glad those memories of middle school are already made. I wish I could remember them forever. Maybe I will, maybe I won't. Only time can tell.

It's been a while.

I totally forgot about blogging x] hahaha. This week was.. Not that great.

Found out I have a C+ in English, and that's the second to lowest grade in my class! Every night has been filled with so much homework, it's stressing me out :/ Fought with my best friend, again! ._. Started to break out really badly.

I don't go out anymore. Friday was the first time I did anything in a while. We went to Aloha for some food, then hung out in Vons until 6:20. We got our blood pressure tested (: hahaha. Don't even ask D:<>

Then we got Kristie's dad to pick us up, and take us to Nawin's. They were restringing Nawin's guitar, and then Kristie, Nawin, and I got into some really weird conversation, but I guess you learn something new everyday. Then the chicken came after 10 because Nawin's dad went to go get it since we were hungry x] But I left after eating a drumstick, yum. KFC (:

So yeah, apparently Kristie, Michelle, and I are gonna dress differently everyday sometime, some week.

I freaking dressed like a PREP Friday, cause I felt like it. According to Kristie, I look different like that.

Kbye (:

Crazy.

I haven't stepped outside of my house since I got home at like.. 3:30pm on Friday. I was fine with it, but today it's really bugging me. I had a bunch of different plans, but then they all got canceled ._. I seriously hope tomorrow works out :/

I've been reading Picture Bride, I'm really surprised I've actually been READING. It's quite astonishing x] Hahaha, a big word. It's weird, I haven't been able to find a song I really like :/ I need some new really good songs to listen to. I'm tired of all the ones I have in my itunes/ipod now. I don't know what's up.

Tsk tsk.

Good sleep.

I talked to my best friend until 2am online.

Then I had a nice sleep. That is.. until my stupid alarm woke me up, when it's set just to ring on school days :/ Then I thought that it was Friday, AGAIN. Til I thought back to what happened yesterday, and I was like "it couldn't of been all a dream", so I just turned off my alarm and went back to sleep (:

What a lonely day x] might go to some little kid's birthday later today. Chuck E Cheese, or something like that.

A lot of progress was made yesterday? Ha.

"I'm in trouble"

Did you know, I've been thinking of the things that hurt me the most.

If you bring up my hopes, and you drop them, I never seem to see you the same way again.

Trust is one of the most important aspects of life; I don't who to trust anymore. Something always seems to go wrong, but maybe that's just because I pick out all the bad things. Promises meant the world to me; it bugs me so much when someone can't keep even the smallest of promises. This goes for so many people, seriously.

Another thing, it's so stupid when someone tries to get another person to stop being friends with me. It's taking advantage of that person, and it's much beyond pointless. People are so easily persuaded, that's how the mind was structured. We're influenced so easily by so many different things. It's none of your business whether or not they talk to me, get a reality check.

Just because I call someone "sort of cute" doesn't mean I like them. It freaking bugs me SO much. It is exactly the reason why I never call anyone cute, I say it to myself. If I can't tell someone I think some guy is cute, I'm sure as heck never going to say who I like.

"I'm in trouble, I'm an addict, I'm addicted to this [guy], [he's] got my heart tied in a knot, and my stomach in a whirl"

So, my week went by nicely, pretty much.

-Did an okay job on my English poetry book.

-Got an A on my bio test.

-Have the highest grade in my geometry class.

-Got closer to my best friend.

-Finished all my Spanish work super early, everyday.

-Drama is dying down.

-Hardly went out.

-Actually attempted to finish my homework every night.

-English teacher and Bio teacher were lenient.

For the first time.

For the first time, I went to Target, and DIDN'T run into anybody I knew (: but then again, I didn't want to look around, and I hurried to the "Photo center" and ran to the car. Oh yeah, I'm cool. Today, I totally pulled a "nerd status" in Spanish, got all my work stamped, and blah blah blah. Got called an "over-achiever".

For some reason, I have an A in geometry, I'm proud of myself, somewhat. Biology is gay ._. I hope I'm doing better in it though. Shooting for an A- by the end of the semester (: let's see if I can make that happen. Hopefully I'll have at least 3 A's by the end of the semester.

The drama stuff is finally beginning to cool down, but some people are just seriously immature. I'm still suffering from insomnia, but if it actually can be called insomnia, then it is definitely just a mild case of it.

Gah, I'm going to return my dad's camera soon ): Maybe after this weekend! :D I love using it, it's freaking amazing, but retarded at the same time. Hehe.

Okay, goodnight!

It's only in SoCal

It's only in SoCal you can have all four seasons in just a week. So it was pouring, and we all got soaked, then half an hour later, it's freaking bright and sunny outside!

So.. Today was pretty weird. I can't even remember most of it, or any of it to be honest.

I did my English homework, and most of my math homework. Well, apparently, I'm not quite done with my English homework. So I guess I'll be staying up and doing that tonight.

Babe, I'm out in Irvine

&&; I'm becoming a flirt?!

Dang, I would've never seen that coming :/ It's a weird thought.

So yesterday was an alright day, not too bad, not too great. Got really really really soaked. Watched Nawin and Lawrence see who could stand out in the pouring rain longest, without a jacket, so they were just in their t-shirts. Funny, but sad. Some guys are such immature jerks.

I went to Michael's after school with my aunt, cause she picked me up from school. Then she took me to go get boba (: and it was delicious. After that, I want home, and just did whatever until 9:20 when my sister said she was gonna pick me up. So she picks me up at like 10:20, we go to my dad's to pick up his camera, and I've been addicted to it ever since. But I'm just borrowing it ): and it's 4+ years old x] Stupid dad gave away all his old professional cameras ._.

So I've been out in Irvine since last night. Went to the Irvine Spectrum, then to Trader Joe's, got In-N-Out, and back to the apartment. After eating, we went to Laguna Beach, then Newport Beach, passed by Fashion Island. Went to South Coast. Blah blah blah. Took a million pictures all day, lovely, isn't it? (: I believe I am going home tomorrow, and I really REALLY need to do my English hw :x

"I hope this is all you wanted"

Haha. Title came from the part of the song I just heard (:

So today, I dressed all weird to school, because my cousin came to pick me up way earlier than he usually does :/ so I had to run around the house and get dressed.

Mmmm, the best part of my day was this one guy :]

I did not wear a jacket to school, cause I ran out of the house too fast to grab one, which was a really bad idea. But I didn't mind the rain too much. I got really soaked though.

My English teacher is really.. Bleh. But after I talked to her for a while, she's letting me use my own photography for my poetry book (: which I am extremely glad about, because if I hand drew everything, then I'd be so screwed.

Last night, I was thinking about things I wanted to say to many different people. But I won't say it, because it'll make the relationship between me and them so bad, well some of them it'll be the same. I'm going to start trying to keep more things in my head.

It's raining really hard outside, and the sliding door is open for some odd reason. So the breeze is coming in, and I'm in shorts and a t-shirt D:

Well, now to START and hopefully FINISH my homework. Yeee, I got out of presenting my biology project today! :DD I'm so happy. But then again, I have a biology test tomorrow :/ We'll see how well I do on that.

My Day.

I barely finished my bio project :x

My mom left to the airport.

I went to school after lunch ended.

I'm extremely tired.

I did not talk to my best friend.

AyeJay is my Valentine (; Hahah. Cause we're oh so lame.

I made Nawin think about the past.

He made me think of the past too.

I got a lot of bio work done.

I haven't started my study guide and it's due on Friday :/

I have to break my procrastination habits.

Music is becoming a greater part of my day.

I text less.

I've seriously been taking naps everyday.

I forget to sign out of myspace, so it just sits there.

I don't believe I like anyone anymore.

This wasn't really even about my day x]

The more I talk to my sister, the more I notice how annoying I am.

Drama is annoying.

Will there ever be a year where I DON'T lose my best friends? Or is that just how it's supposed to be? I'm learning new lessons everyday. I'm learning more and more about different people everyday. I drift from some, and get close to others. So I guess it's the price I pay.

Life.

ashley tran .

things change.

Nawinshere

like songs

Nawinshere

or

Nawinshere

socks

Nawinshere

you change em every day

ashley tran .

and sometimes socks get holes in them

ashley tran .

and songs get old

So true :/ Stupid Nawin got me thinking about the past. Seriously, you really never know what you had, til it's gone.

Oh, and I am currently procrastinating like crazy.

Feeling:

-Replaced.

-Okay.

-Annoying.

-Lazy.

-Bored.

-Full.

-Better.

I wrote a really stupid poem where I compared life to music.

Well babe, I’ll tell you

Life is music

It’s more than just noise

It won’t always be on the same song

The beats are different

The genre changes

Music is different

But we all find our own style

I found that style

And sometimes you run into kinds you don’t like

But you either play through it

Or you skip it

Life is music

My English teacher has seriously ruined poem writing for me. Even though I didn't really like it til we got started writing them this year, she ruined it. I can't seem to write anything GOOD, or that she won't cross out this and that and blah blah blah.

Move move if you Wanna.

Dang that song is so catchy. So Monday we choreographed to that song, and it's been stuck in my head ever since. I am hoping to make dancing one of my hobbies (:

I went to my dad's on Monday, and I think he's gonna give me the Nokia N95. Wooot?

Tuesday was Chinese New Year. I was in a really bad mood, but then my best friend turned that around.

&&; today I saw my best friend. But I just gave him a hug and said bye. I saw "Stan the Man" the friggen nerd with a 4.1. Things have changed so much, people look so different, it's crazy. I'm missing out man, but then if I wasn't at Walnut, I'd be missing out on so much more.

I'm beginning to develop some really good habits, and attempting to break my old ones. I'm beginning to read more, and I do my homework more often now (: and I start earlier, cause I am awesome!

My grades still suck though ): hopefully that'll change by the end of the new semester. I still really want to transfer out of Walnut after this year, I just don't think it's worth the hassle.

What if.

What if I had never taken piano?

What if I had given up my whole life?

What if my parents had never gotten a divorce?

What if my dad, wasn't my dad?

What if I had been handed everything I wanted?

What if my family and I were actually close?

What if they actually understood?

Would I not be into music?

Would I be happier?

Would life be better?

Would I be a better person?

Would I have wanted things to be how they are now?

Would I be those people I despise?

Would I enjoy things more?

Would I really be happier?

What if questions always ponder in my mind, they never seem to go away. It's both good, and bad. You think about things you should be grateful for, then you think about things that aren't so great, and you learn to face reality.

Or maybe I'm not facing reality. I actually can't tell really at this point.

People, they tell you not to care, they tell you things, but they don't realize how impossible it is to follow their directions. You can offer suggestions, but don't give instructions.

I wonder, all day. I think, all day. I sing, all day. I miss people, all day. I live, all day.

Resolution '09

- Try in school.

- See things from other's perspective.

- Spend less.

- Stay fit/healthy.

- Less fights.

- Be understanding.

- Try to be kinder.

- Good > Bad.

- Forgive.

Sometimes

Things don't come out the way we want them to. But we gotta deal with it anyways :/

There's days I really get into taking pictures with my super duper cool awesome waterproof camera.

I am not happy with my step dad right now.

But I will be heading off to pick up my mom in a few minutes.

...

That's if I'm allowed.

Eek!

My mom is coming home on Christmas Eve.

EEK! YAY! :D

I'm happy now.

From one thing to another.

It's nice to learn that you aren't the only one who sits and stares at the ceiling thinking about anything and just about everything. Me and my friends were sitting at the park, and it was just silent at 8pm, and not an awkward silence, just a silence showing we were all thinking, and it goes from one subject to another. This reminds you of that, that reminds you of another thing. It's really funny, but serious at the same time? x]

You can say high school is getting easier, but maybe it's just cause we've been in high school for over three months now, three months already, which means the year is almost half way done (: But then again, my mom is still probably going to miss my whole freshman year, and then sophomore year to, I don't know how to feel it's all akweyrawer!

Last week I got a new camera [: It's so cool. One day I'm going to bring it with me into the water, it's waterproof, and shockproof, but not "retard-proof" as Nawin would say. So I can't let Brian touch it [; Burn! Just kidding man. But dude, Brian's phones are ultimate "retard-proof" they played BASEBALL with it. Freaking hilarious. Hanging with them people is always fun.

So many thought pondering my mind.

I find it funny that people read my comments, and then they talk about them to others, or to me. It's pretty stupid how it gets around. It's people talking to me, and not to them. But whatever, it's okay.

Words are just said..

You go to a new school, and before you go, you hear the exchanges of "keep in touch" and "oh, don't worry, we'll still talk lots". I'm not saying I always kept my word, cause I know I didn't at times, but I really have tried, but talking can't go one way.
There's always things that are said, and you always hope that people would honor their word, but you can't always expect that much from someone, it's sad, but it's true. I know there isn't one person who is okay with being let down after your hopes were brought up so high. This is the way you learn not to trust people, and trust is not easy to gain after lost.
I try not to look forward to anything anymore, cause I know I'll be let down most of the time, and if I'm not, then that's great, but when I let it get to me.. Then it's all eh.

Yesturday was fun :D

Things I learned:

-I supposedly resemble both of my sisters.
-Sea Lions want to eat Kristie's hand.
-Seagulls like to bite Kristie's finger.
-Aquariums are fun [:
-They don't have seaturtles.
-But they sell the stuffed animals.
-My dad gets mad cause I don't like books.
-Melody hates Ivan's Asian dad polo.
-My sea turtle might be named Raul.
-Or Nathan.
-Or Ivan.
-I'll still fall asleep in a movie.
-My sea turtle is a good pillow.
-Ivan's jacket is warm.
-The floor gets slippery.
-How to put on a hat x]
-My mom doesn't care I came home sorta late-ish.
-I lost $6o dollars :[

the "epic speech"

ashley tran: this is why.. i try not to get close to people cause they'll go bye bye in a matter of seconds
michelle: ahh D:
ashley tran: haha. yeah. I'll always say it doesn't matter, but every person you've ever been friends with will always matter [no matter how much you want to deny it]
michelle: omgosh this is like an epic speech
ashley tran: lol. I don't actually know the definition of an epic speech.. but alright

I'm having one of those "eh" days. I'd do anything possible to hide from what I'm actually feeling when you see me in person.. But wow, there's so much that goes on in my head. My cousin was flipping through the radio stations on the way to school, and this one song played, it reminded me of this one person so much. He changed it so quickly though.. That's when I really started to think.. Things do change so quickly. When I did my presentation on Tuesday, I was talking about how this man lost a loved one.. Didn't appreciate them and now felt bad for not doing everything possible to tell them, to show them how much she cared. That day I learned how much I let people impact me. I put myself down.. Thinking it'd be easier to take being made fun of, but.. It really doesn't haha.
Way too much goes on in my head, its freaking crazy! My mom might not be coming home for another two months, and I really didn't appreciate her all that much while she was here, she took me to go get food when I was really hungry, but I thought on the more negative sides where she'd yell at me for who knows what. We tend not to think about these things, and right now I am.. So many things going on in my mind, no other way to express them, except to type it out. Which may make no sense to any of you, but it's alright. Your opinion shouldn't put a bad impact in me. Wow, that was odd.
I really need to stop saying I don't care, to stop putting myself down. Cause I do care, and if you don't expect much out of something, you won't get much out of them. I have no idea still if it's better to expect too much of someone.. Or too little. There's ways to fight for both sides, fights that will take years to figure out. I am going to change, I am going to reach my goals, my goals, are my promises to myself. We all need something to strive for, adds more of a meaning to our lives, and that's a sure thing we all need.
I feel so isolated right now, I'm in such a state.. That I can't even sing right now, I have no songs that will cheer me up, I don't know what's up with that, but I have to deal, things are going to get harder, and you gotta be tougher.. Just make sure you have the right people beside you as you're walking through that storm. We can all help each other.
Every friend matters.
-ashley tran.

Kellie O'Connor: "Friends are always friends no matter how far you have to travel back in time. If you have memories together, there is always a piece of your friendship inside your heart."
"It's sad when people you know become people you knew. When you can walk right past someone like they were never a big part of your life. How you used to be able to talk for hours and how now, you can barely even look at them."